AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story came to me after reading a very vague (and I mean VERY vague) episode guide of the Monkees TV show. I came across "Some Like It Lukewarm" where the person described the Geator as a "slimy contest host." This story is just basically how very dedicated Davy Devotees would handle that episode. BTW, Davy Devotees out there, don't get any crazy ideas and act like the fans in this story. In other words, DO NOT go all the way out to Philadelphia and plot Geator Sabotage. This is just a fanfic, after all.
Davy and Quacky dashed into the latter's apartment and slammed the door shut. Both of them began locking every single lock on the door, shutting all the windows (and locking them as well), closing the window shades, and then collapsing on the floor.
"Man, I didn't think we'd make it out of there," Quacky said, catching his breath.
"That's the problem with being a teen idol," Davy said, catching his own breath. "Every bloody teenage girl in America wants a piece of you."
If you haven't guessed it by now, Davy and Quacky had just come from the Screen Gems studio. A group of teenage girls spotted them and began to chase them down the street. And, eventually, the group of girls snowballed. Now, they were banging on the apartment door, trying to get in.
"Why did we ever have to audition for a record label?" Quacky groaned.
"It beats the 'eck out of me!" Davy shouted. "Temporary insanity, I'd say."
There was some more knocking on the door. Quacky looked through the hole in the door to see if there was still a mob out there. There was, as well as Camille, who was frantically banging on the door.
"Are you guys in there?" she asked.
"Yeah," Quacky said. "Hang on a sec, Camille. I'll let you inside in a minute."
"Just make sure you don't let the teenage girls in!" Davy shouted as he and Quacky unlocked all the locks on the door. They opened it enough for Camille to squeeze in, and to keep the other girls out. Once she was inside, Quacky slammed the door, and Davy proceeded to lock it.
"Man!" he shouted. "What a mob!"
"You're telling me!" Camille shouted. "Boy, you two must really be popular with the teenagers these days."
"You said it," Quacky said. "Even though we're hardly in any of the movies the studio makes, I'm still the most popular Mallard, and Davy's always been the most popular Monkee."
The trio staid right where they were until the girls left. It wasn't until six that night when the girls finally left the apartment.
"I'd bettah get back to me place," Davy said.
"Better wear a trench coat, Davy," Quacky warned. "The girls might still be out there."
Davy just glared at his friend and left. The teenage girls were nowhere in sight. As he was walking along, a hand came flying down on his shoulder.
"Hey, Davy-baby," Jerry said. "What's happenin'?"
"I nearly lost me life about three hours ago," Davy said. "A bunch of girls saw me and Quacky and decided to take that opportunity for a souvenir grab."
"Eesh. Times like that, I'm glad I'm not a teen idol!"
"Times like that, I envy you not being a teen idol! I'd nevah thought I'd say this, Geatah, but I wish I 'ad your looks!"
Both of them cracked up at that. Any time in the past, Jerry would have punched Davy out for that remark, but the two of them finally patched up their differences and were getting along extremely well, which made Mike happy, because for the longest time, Davy and Jerry would always be at war with each other, due to the mixed band contest way back when. Even though Mike was glad the war was over, he didn't think the truce would last. The next day at the studio, the president and vice president of the Davy Jones fan club showed up to interview Davy for their newsletter, which was sent to fans all around the world.
"Hey, Davy," Mike said. "Some chicks from your fan club are here."
"Got an interview, huh?" Jerry asked.
"Yep," Davy said. "I'll see you guys latah. Oh, and Jer, I might drop by the radio station tonight. You know, see what you're doing."
"Yeah, okay," Jerry replied. "Good luck on the interview."
Davy walked over to the two girls.
"'Ello luvs," he said. "I'm ready whenevah you ah."
"Okay," the president said. "My name is Jenny Arnold, and I'm the president of the LA branch of the Davy Jones Fan Club. This is our vice president, Linda Stanley."
Linda just giggled like a schoolgirl, not saying a word. She nearly fainted when Davy shook her hand.
"We just want to ask you a few questions," Jenny said.
"Sure," Davy said. "Shoot."
These were the questions: what's your favorite food? What's your favorite color? Are you still touring with the Monkees? What's your opinion of the Mallards? Do you get along with the Mallards? Do you wear boxers or briefs? What do you sleep in? And will you marry me? (That one was supplied by Linda).
"Let me see," Davy said, thinking it over. "Yorkshire pudding, black, yes, they're groovy guys, we get along very well, boxahs, pj's, and maybe."
Linda shrieked in delight, which made Davy jump a little.
"Just a few more questions," Jenny said. And here's what they were:
Is Mike really half-witch? Does his powers get on your nerves?
"Yes, and sometimes," Davy rattled. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, one more," Jenny said. "How's the war coming?"
"War?" Davy asked, confused, and worried there might be a war in England he didn't know about. "What war?"
"The one with you and . . . . ol', what's his face," Jenny said. "You know, that guy?"
"You know, the one who thought you were a girl."
"Oh! Jerry. Oh, the war's off. We made up."
"You made up? How could you make up?! He thought you were a girl, and he asked you out! And it was so easy to tell you weren't a girl, either!"
"Well, that's all in the past, girls. What, ah you girls keeping up with me and Jerry fighting?"
"Actually, we were. We were kind of hoping the square would go away and leave you alone. After all, he did make a fool out of you."
"Well, sorry to burst your bubble, luvs, but Jerry and I ah friends now. Besides, once you get to know 'im, 'e's not such a bad guy."
"But he doesn't even play any Monkees songs on his show!"
"Oh well. Thank you girls for the interview. Gotta go."
With that, Davy shook the girls' hands and left. Jenny and Linda looked at each other, and then both of them screamed in delight.
"I touched Davy Jones!" Linda yelled. "I'm gonna marry that man!"
"No you're not!" Jenny shouted. "I am!"
"I asked him first!"
"Yeah, and he said maybe!"
The girls argued about it a little more. After that, they went back to the club headquarters to tell the other girls about the interview. All of them were basically screaming.
"He's just the dreamiest!" a girl named Brenda Allen sighed.
"I'm going to marry him someday," another named Charlotte Thomas said.
"Oh no you don't!" another named Emily Baxter yelled. "I've got dibs on him!"
"He's mine!" Alexis Roberts protested.
Soon, all the girls got into an argument about who was going to marry Davy. Finally, Jenny pounded her gavel on the desk.
"Okay, okay!" she shouted. "Settle down. Forget about who's gonna marry Davy. Even though it's gonna be me, 'cause I'm the president of the fan club."
The other girls groaned. Jenny cleared her throat.
"Well now, any business?" she asked.
"The Monkees are going to join the Mallards new tour," Charlotte said. "Oh well. If I can't have Davy, I'll take Reggie. He's such a hunk!"
"Last time I checked, Charlotte, this is the Davy Jones fan club!" Jenny shouted. "Anymore business?"
"Davy's gonna be on the radio tonight," Linda said. "I heard him tell the Geator that he might drop by the radio station tonight."
"Aaahhhh!" Brenda shrieked. "Maybe he'll sing for us!"
"Aaaaahhhhhhh!" the rest of the girls began screaming at once. Once they stopped, Jenny got back to business.
"All right, all right," she said. "Settle down girls. We have a real problem on our hands now."
"What?" Emily asked.
"Well, speaking of the Geator, Linda," Jenny replied. "Our sweet Davy has, ugh, made up with him!"
"WHAT?!" the other girls shouted.
"He can't do that!" Alexis shouted.
"The Geator made a complete fool out of our Davy!" Charlotte yelled.
"How dare the Geator hold a mixed band contest!" Brenda yelled, slamming her fist on the table. "Having to make poor, sweet Davy dress up as a girl!"
"Well, actually," Linda said. "It wasn't the Geator's fault. I mean, he didn't start the contest."
All the girls stared at Linda like she had pussy willow branches sprouting out of her head.
"Are you implying it was my future husband's fault?!" Charlotte yelled.
"No," Linda said, cowering. "I just meant . . . ."
"Forget it," Brenda said. "But there isn't much we can do about that, Jen. Unless the Geator moves back to Philadelphia (where he belongs, far, far away from my baby Davy), we're stuck with my lovely Davy to be friends with that . . . . that . . . . . slimy sewar rat!"
Jenny nodded. Then, she got an idea.
"You've just given me an idea Brenda," she said. "Huddle!"
The girls huddled. They all thought her idea was brilliant, except Linda. But nobody paid any attention to her at the time.
"Let's do it," Jenny said, holding her hand out.
"Right," Brenda said, laying her hand on Jenny's. Charlotte and Emily nodded, and put their hands in the circle, too.
"This is my idea of fun!" Alexis squealed, putting her hand in the circle.
"It just doesn't seem nice," Linda said.
"Oh, Linda," Alexis said. "We'll just be playing with him. I mean, Davy wouldn't like it if we actually sent him back to Philly."
"Yeah," Jenny said. "Then he wouldn't marry you."
"It's just one big fun game!" Emily shouted, a little too cheerfully, if you know what I mean.
"Well, okay," Linda said, putting her hand in the circle. "If it's just a game."
"Right," Jenny said. "Just a game. Okay, girls, on three. One, two, three."
"Go Davy!" the girls shouted, breaking their hands apart.
"Let the games begin," Jenny said.
That night, Davy did indeed drop by KGLD to see the Geator at work.
"I figured Mike's always coming by, so I'd do it too," he said.
"Yeah, glad you could make it," Jerry said. "So, you Monkees are gonna go on tour with the Mallards, huh?"
"Yeah. But they're not really on tour. They're doing a couple of weeks 'ere in California, and not only ah we their back up band when they need back up, we're also playing with them. We're calling it the Monkee/Mallard Spectacular."
"How did the guys feel about the Monkees getting top billing?"
"Eh, they didn't mind. Quacky figued we should get top billing because we went first. Oh by the way, mate, your phone line's lighting up."
Jerry looked over and picked up the phone.
"Hi," Jenny said, giggling like a school girl. "Can I talk to Davy?"
"Sure," Jerry said. "Hey Davy, it's a gi-irl!"
"Oh, thanks, mate," Davy said, taking the phone. "'Ello, luv!"
"Hi Davy!" Jenny shouted. "My friends and I all love you!"
"That's very nice to 'ear."
"We can't wait to see the Monkee/Mallard Spectacular!"
"Yeah. You're the greatest!"
"Don't give him a swelled head, girls," Jerry said. "He's already got one, and it doesn't need to get any bigger."
Davy just laughed and swatted the Geator in the arm. The Geator gave him a smug look and put a record on the turntable.
"Can you put the Geator back on?" Jenny asked.
"Sure," Davy said, then he gave the phone back to Jerry. "'Ey mate, I'm gonna step out for a sec."
"Sure," Jerry said, taking the phone. "So, girls, glad to hear the sound of Davy's voice over the radio?"
The only response after that was a very loud whistle, right in Jerry's ear. He had to hold the phone away from his ear.
"Aaaahhh!" he screamed. "Whoa! I think I just went deaf!"
Jerry hung up the phone, shook his head to regain his senses, and then cleaned out his ear. Davy came back in while he was doing that.
"What 'appened?" he asked.
"Someone blew a whistle in the phone," Jerry said. "Right in my ear."
"Ooh, that 'ad to 'urt."
"You're not kidding!"
The Davy Jones fan club cracked up. They had only just begun the fun, however. And the games were about to get worse. Jenny gathered the other girls at Linda's house to discuss the next plan.
"Tomorrow night is the first concert," she said. "And the Geator's going to introduce them every night. And I know for a fact most of the fans that are going to be there are part of the Davy Jones fan club."
"So what are we gonna do?" Linda asked.
"Find some rotten tomatoes and hurl them at him!" Charlotte giggled.
"Priceless!" Alexis shouted.
"Gee, that doesn't seem very nice," Linda said. "It seems like we'll be making a fool out of him."
"Well, he made a fool out of our sweetie pie," Emily said.
"Besides," Jenny said. "We're just playing with him. It's a harmless game!"
"I still don't know," Linda said.
"Come on, Linda!" Charlotte prodded. "It's just a game!"
"All right," Linda said. "I'll go along with it."
The girls giggled and then left. Linda ran through her refrigerator looking for any type of food to throw at Jerry. She rounded up an entire box full of tomatoes and eggs. Her father, Captain Hank Stanley from Station 51, saw her dig through the fridge.
"That desperate for a midnight snack?" he asked.
"Oh, hi, Daddy," Linda said. "Actually, ummm, this is for a game."
"Yeah. See, the girls and I are going to the Monkee/Mallard Spectacular tomorrow night."
"The one with Davy Jones, huh?"
"Yeah. And, well, we want to see what travels faster when thrown. A tomato or an egg."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought you liked that Jones fella."
"I do, I do! We're not throwing them at Davy!"
"Then, who are you throwing them at?"
"Anybody who gets in our way from seeing Davy?"
Linda said that last line as if her father wouldn't believe her. Hank sighed and turned around.
"Whatever you say, princess," he said. "Just don't hurt anyone."
"Okay, Daddy," Linda said.
The next night, the Monkees and the Mallards prepared for their show. They were all talking about the crowd out there.
"Looks like standing room only," Reggie said. "The place is packed!"
"Mike, are you ready with that force field in case the fans go nuts?" Micky asked.
"Yeah, I will be in a sec," Mike said. He took a bottle of Coke off a nearby table and drank half of it in one gulp. "Okay. My battery's recharged. And the curtain is about to go up. Okay, Geat. Do your thing."
Jerry gave Mike a salute and then walked out on stage. The curtain was going up, and the girls were screaming. Then they saw Jerry walking toward the microphone and everyone began to boo and hiss. Jerry was thrown off track for just a second, but then he proceeded to introduce the bands, but the girls were booing and hissing so loud, nobody could hear him!
"We want Davy!" Jenny chanted. "We want Davy! We want Davy!"
"We want Davy!" the rest of the girls shouted. "We want Davy! We want Davy!"
Soon, all the girls were screaming "we want Davy" over and over again. Jerry was determined to get some words in. The minute he opened his mouth, he was hit in the face with a tomato.
"Eecchh," he groaned as he wiped it off his face. "All right, what's the big idea?!"
The question went unanswered. The Geator was being bombarded by boos, hisses, tomatoes, eggs, and basically a lot of hostile words.
"Get off the stage, you Philly geek!" someone yelled.
"Bring out Davy!" Emily yelled, hurling a tomato. Jerry held up his arms to block off the flying objects.
"Boy, you usually don't find 'em so dedicated," Mike commented.
"All right! All right!" he shouted. "Sheesh! Without further ado, The Monkees and the Mallards!"
Jerry ran off stage before somebody else threw another tomato at him. Mike snapped his fingers and began playing the first song, which happened to be "Last Train to Clarkesville." Reggie stared at the audience and then followed Jerry.
"What was that?" he asked.
"Teenage girls," Jerry said. "Obviously Davy fans who do not like me at all."
"Are you okay? You got hit with a lot of stuff out there!"
"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I just feel like a salad bar, that's all. I probably look like one, too."
At least Jerry wasn't taking the whole thing personally. The fans were going crazy out there as the group sang. Two or three of them tried to run up to grab all their clothes off, but ended up running directly into the force field.
"Ow!" Alexis shouted.
"Well, they're getting smarter," Jenny shouted. The others nodded and went back to their seats, screaming their lungs out. When the whole show was over, a hoard of girls hung out at the back door, waiting for the bands to come out. When they did, they were bombarded.
"Here we go again!" Micky shouted.
"Run for it!" Reggie yelled.
The Monkees and the Mallards took off as fast as they could. The girls were in hot pursuit after them, screaming, wanting souvenirs. Later, the Monkees and the Mallards returned to the arena, looking like they had been in a tornado.
"Where's Davy?" Jerry asked.
"Right 'ere," Davy said, coming into view, wearing what looked like a bush!
"What happened to you?" Jerry asked.
"The girls got a little crazy," Reggie replied. "They ripped off all his clothes."
"All of them?!" Jerry asked again, shocked.
"Right down to me boxah shorts," Davy said. "And let me tell you, this is really embarrassing!"
Mike pointed his finger and zapped. Davy was now sporting new clothes, except they were shredded up.
"Very funny, Mike," Davy said.
"Yeah, well," Mike said. "Why should the six of us be torn to shreds and you be the only one to come out clean?"
The next night, Jenny, Linda, Charlotte, Emily, Alexis, and Brenda went to the concert again, with more instruments of destruction with them.
"I don't know about this," Linda said.
"Don't be a wimp, Linda!" Brenda shouted. "We won't really hit him. We'll just scare him a bit."
"Okay," Linda said.
"Hey girls," Fluey said, coming up to them, with Multi.
"Fluey, Multi!" Jenny shouted. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We're guests of the band," Multi said. "Remember? We're the ones who gave you the tickets for tonight. And for last night, and tomorrow night, and the night after that."
"It pays to be related to the bassist of the Monkees," Fluey said.
"And it pays to have connections in your math class," Jenny said.
"That," Fluey said. "Plus I'm friends with Johnny Gage who works at the fire station with the captain of Station Fifty-one who happens to be Linda's dad. Well, see you girls later."
"Byyyeee!" Emily shouted, gleefully. Actually, a little too gleefully.
"I get a bad feeling about them," Fluey said.
"They're just Davy Jones fans who are out of touch with reality," Multi said. "They all tend to get a little crazy now and again."
The curtain went up just then. The entire audience booed and hissed again when Jerry came out on stage. But this time instead of throwing eggs and tomatoes, they began throwing sticks and stones at him. Even though the girls said they wouldn't really hit him, most of them were hitting him!
"I thought you said we wouldn't really hit him!" Linda shouted.
"I know," Brenda said. "Boy, do we have lousy aim!"
Jerry grabbed the microphone and dashed off stage before anything else could hit him.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said. "The Monkees!"
The Monkees launched into "I'm a Believer." The Mallards staid off stage for a moment.
"You all right?" Drake asked.
"Yeah," Jerry said, nodding. "No broken bones, no bleeding. Just a couple of bruises, that's all."
The fans went totally crazy just then. And Mike forgot the force field. The girls jumped up on the stage when the Monkees and the Mallards began singing together. They were ripping clothes off right and left. Finally, they subsided, and the concert was over.
"We need a better security system," Peter said.
"You're not kidding!" Drake said. "And what's with the fans?"
"They're just Davy's fan club," Jerry said. "You know, the big group that hates my guts?"
"They think you made a fool out of me," Davy said.
"Which I did."
"Yeah, but that wasn't your fault, mate."
The others had to agree with Davy on that one. The next day, the Davy Jones fan club had another meeting. They were plotting more Geator Sabotage. Linda was still unsure about it, and the other girls were still telling her it was "just a game," but the game was beginning to get dangerous.
"It's all set," Brenda said. "I talked my big brother into helping us out."
"Whatever it is," Linda said. "I don't want to help."
"You don't have to help," Jenny said. "It'll just be me, Brenda, and Alexis."
"I'm going home," Linda said. "It's my turn to help make dinner."
"Bye," Charlotte said.
"Hey guys?" Linda asked, before she left.
"Yeah?" Jenny asked.
"Are you sure all of this is a game?"
"Of course! It's just some harmless fun!"
"All right. I was just making sure."
Linda left. The other girls then listened to what Brenda's big brother, Brandon, (who was twenty-five) was going to do to help them in Geator Sabotage. The next afternoon, Mike and Jerry were walking along, talking about how great the show was going. They didn't even notice Brandon and his car with most of the Davy Jones fan club.
"There he is," Jenny said. "Gun it."
"Got it," Brandon said, and he pressed his foot on the gas pedal as hard as he could.
"The fans are startin' to drive me nuts," Mike said. "We've just hired a bigger security team."
"Maybe that'll keep the girls from rushing out on stage," Jerry said. "I tell you, the fans are driving me crazy! All they want to do nowadays is kill me!"
"Oh they do not!"
"Well, it sure seems like it."
"Yeah it does. I'm not sure what's gotten into them, but somethin's gotten into them."
"Yeah, really! Hey, I know they're not my biggest fans, because they feel I made a complete fool out of Davy, which I did, but that's not my fault, and that's no reason these girls have to . . . . ."
"Jerry watch out!"
Mike slammed his body into Jerry's which knocked him into the sidewalk. Brandon's car ran smack into Mike just as he pushed the Geator out of the way. The tall, Texan Monkee fell to the pavement and hit his head. Hard.
"Oooowwwww!" he moaned, then he lost consciousness. Brandon's car sped off without stopping. Jerry stood up and ran out to Mike, where a large crowd had formed.
"Sunday driver!" he shouted. "They'll give anybody a liscense these days! Mike? Mike, are you okay? Mike!"
"I called an ambulance," a lady said. "Is he all right?"
"Well, it's obvious he hit his head against the pavement when the car hit him."
"I wouldn't move him. He might have had a neck injury. And if you move him, you might make it worse."
Dan and T.J. arrived on the scene a few minutes later. Jerry explained about the hit and run incident.
"They give anybody a driver's liscense these days," Dan said.
"Where do they get them? The five and dime?" T.J. asked. They checked Mike's vitals and then brought him in to Rampart. Dr. Brackett just came out of the examining room.
"You guys are going to have to cancel that concert tonight," he said. "Mike's got himself a good concussion."
"Ouch," Jerry grimaced. "I know that concussion was meant for me, because that car came straight for me, and Mike pushed me out of the way. I'd better call up the others and let them know about this."
It was still the middle of the afternoon, so there was time to cancel the concert. In fact, they canceled the rest of the Monkee/Mallard Spectacular. The fans were not happy campers.
"How can you cancel the Spectacular?!" Jenny shouted at Reggie, who was coming out of the arena.
"Simple," Reggie replied. "Some hit and run driver smacked Mike with a car, and he got a very nice concussion. He'll be out by tomorrow, but he probably won't feel up to performing, and we don't perform without him."
"I told you that wasn't a good idea!" Linda shouted.
"Yeah," Charlotte said. "Ooohhhh! I'm so mad I could just spit!"
"It's my fault," Brenda said. "I talked my bro into this."
"But we're not licked yet," Jenny said. "The last round of the game has yet to come. Everybody gather these ingredients and meet me at the clubhouse in half an hour."
Jenny handed each of the girls a slip of paper, and then they ran off. Exactly half an hour later, the girls met at the club house.
"Everybody get the stuff on the list?" Jenny asked.
"I think so," Brenda said. Jenny pulled out a list and a pencil.
"Chains," she said.
"Check," Brenda replied.
"Locks and keys," Jenny read.
"Check," Emily answered.
"Duct tape," Jenny read.
"Check," Charlotte said.
"Rock," Jenny said.
"Check," Alexis replied.
"And, of course, pool," Jenny finished.
"At my house," Linda said. "But I don't get it. What's all this stuff for?"
"Oh, nothing much," Emily said. "We're just going for a nice little midnight swim. With the Geator of course."
"Yeah, tomorrow night," Jenny said. "I mean, it's possible. Your parents aren't gonna be home, are they?"
"Well, Mother is going to visit my grandma," Linda said. "And . . . I think Daddy has to work that night, but I'm not sure."
"Great!" Brenda shouted. "All you have to do is ask him if you can have some of your best friends over, and then . . . . we'll have a little fun."
Linda nodded, uncertainly. She went home that night, thinking. She saw her father talking on the phone with a friend of his, and approached him.
"Daddy?" she asked.
"In a second, honey," Hank said. "Yeah. Christine went to go visit the battle axe for the weekend. My daughter practically begged to stay home for that Monkees Mallards thingy. I could have told her I know them personally, but she probably wouldn't believe me. Yeah, I know. Now she's probably gonna cry all weekend because the show was canceled. Well, Gage told me Mike Nesmith was clobbered by a hit and run driver and got a concussion. He'll be out tomorrow afternoon according to him. Probably not. Yeah. I'll talk to you later. Bye."
Hank hung up the phone and turned to his daughter.
"It's a crazy world out there," he said.
"Daddy, are you working tomorrow night?" Linda asked.
"Actually, I am. Why?"
"Can I invite the girls over to go swimming?"
"Well, you know how I feel about you inviting people over when we're not home."
"But Daddy, it's just a pool party. And it'll just be Jenny, Brenda, Emily, Charlotte, and Alexis. And then they're gonna spend the night. Please, Daddy?"
"Well . . . . all right. If I say no, I might regret it. But control yourself."
"Ooh, thank you, Daddy! You're the best daddy in the whole world!"
Linda jumped up and kissed her father on the cheek. Hank just nodded and went up the stairs. Then Linda called Jenny to tell her the news.
"Great!" Jenny cried. "I can't wait for this round of the game!"
"Don't you think we've carried this game a little too far?" Linda asked.
"Of course not! The Geator made a fool out of my future husband, and we've got to teach him a lesson. And believe me, he'll never forget this one!"
The girls hung up. Linda still had an uneasy feeling about this whole game. The next day, Mike hung around the studio, holding an ice bag to his bandaged head.
"How's your head, Mike?" Reggie asked.
"Still hurts a bit," Mike said. "I shouldn't do anymore damage to it if I just take it easy, which means no clobberin' Bob."
"Well, they haven't caught the driver. Are you still canceling the concerts?"
"Yep. Lynn said the concert definitely was out, due to the fact the Mallards dance to songs, and I tend to join in. Once, I fell into the orchestra pit while tryin' to do one of those crazy dances."
Fluey and Multi walked over to the two of them just then.
"Hey guys," Fluey said. "How's your head, Mike?"
"Still hurts," Mike said. "What's up?"
"The Davy Jones fan club was getting kind of strange at school today," Multi said. "They're mad the rest of the concerts were canceled. They yelled at us because we were the ones who gave them the tickets."
"I told them you get what you pay for," Fluey said. "Then they began to blame Jerry."
"Of course," Mike said. "Davy's fan club hates the Geator with a passion. In fact, all week, they've been tryin' to kill him."
"We just thought we'd tell you," Multi said. "Plus I kind of get the feeling something is going to happen."
Mike and Reggie looked at Fluey and Multi nervously, and they glanced at each other. That night at eleven fifty-five, the Davy Jones fan club waited their chance to strike outside the KGLD station.
"He oughta be out any minute now," Jenny said.
"I'm not so sure about this," Linda said.
"Take it easy," Brenda said. "This'll be a snap. Besides, my big brother will back us up."
At that moment, Jerry came out of the radio station, not paying too much attention to his surroundings.
"ATTACK!" Jenny screamed.
The girls (save Linda) pounced on Jerry. The Geator tried to fight them off, but somehow or another, these girls were really tough.
"Okay, Brandon!" Brenda called. "Pop the trunk!"
Brandon pushed a button on his key ring and popped open the trunk of the car.
"What's going on here?!" Jerry shouted.
The girls didn't answer. They just shoved the Geator into the trunk of the car and slammed it shut. Then they jumped into Brandon's car and took off to Linda's house. Once they were there, they dragged Jerry out of the trunk of the car and led him to the backyard, where the pool was. Then the girls got out their equipment.
"I'll say it again," Jerry said. "What's going on here?"
"Just a game," Jenny said. "You see we've been playing a game with you."
"Yep. And you lose. Get him girls!"
The girls jumped on Jerry, nearly knocking him into the pool. They proceeded to restrain him using the chains. As for the locks, well, how else did you expect the chains the girls were using to stay in place?
"Okay," Jerry said. "What's the big idea?"
"Not much," Jenny said. Emily handed her the duct tape and she ripped off a piece. "We just want to see if you can swim well."
Before Jerry could say anything else, Jenny placed the duct tape over his mouth and pushed him into the pool. The Geator began to yell out muffled shrieks as he desperately tried to keep his head above the water. And that wasn't easy, because those chains were heavy. Linda gasped. The other girls were cracking up.
"I wonder how long he can hold his breath under water?" Alexis asked.
"Let's find out," Jenny said, taking the rock.
"What are you gonna do with that?" Linda asked.
"You'll see!" Jenny shouted, throwing the rock as hard as she could. It beaned Jerry in the back of the head, which knocked him out cold. With that, he sank to the bottom of the pool. The girls cracked up. Linda just stood there with her mouth gaping open. Then she ran out of the backyard and straight to Station 51, which was close by. She ran into Dan and T.J., who (for some reason) were still awake.
"Hi, Linda," T.J. said.
"Hi T.J., hi Dan" she said. Then she passed Henry, the basset hound, as she ran by. "Hi, Lumpy."
"Your dad's in his office," Dan said.
"Thanks," Linda said. Then she practically flew through the door.
"Linda, what are you doing here?" Hank asked.
"I've got something to tell you," Linda said.
"What is it?"
Linda sat down and told her father the entire story. He wasn't too happy.
"You should have told me about this earlier," Hank said. "Dan! T.J.! Get me the phone! I have to call Nesmith! Then you guys get the ambulance ready! We've got an emergency!"
T.J. handed Hank the phone, and he and Dan ran out to start the Squad. Hank then called Mike.
"Cap, it's midnight," he groaned. "I've got a killer headache because of that concussion! What do you want?"
"My daughter's friends have been plotting sabotage against your friend the Geator," Hank said. "She just told me what they were up to tonight."
"So what are they up to tonight?"
Hank told Mike the story, and he jumped up.
"WHAT?!" he shrieked. "I'll meet you at your place! I've got to call Davy."
Mike called Davy and told him the story. Davy wasn't too happy with that. He told Mike he'd meet him at Hank's house. As it turned out, the six of them arrived at the exact same time.
"Where's the pool?" Dan asked.
"Follow me," Linda said.
"Hey, Cap, I didn't know you had a pool," T.J. said.
"Shut up, T.J.," Hank said. Then they followed Linda out back. The rest of the fan club was laughing hysterically.
"What in Sam Hill is goin' on here?!" Mike demanded. The girls stopped laughing and turned around. They saw the crowd standing right by them, glaring at the girls.
"Davy!" Charlotte shouted jumping on her hero. Davy shoved her off.
"Not now," he said.
"Where's Jerry?" Mike asked.
"Just . . . going for a midnight swim," Emily said.
"There he is!" Linda called. "At the bottom of the deep end!"
"WHAT?!" Mike and Davy shouted at the same time. The group dashed over and looked.
"Your girls are in serious trouble," Dan said.
"I'm goin' in," Mike said.
"Wait a minute, Mike," T.J. said. "You've got a concussion, and Lynn said to take it easy. I don't think diving into a swimming pool counts as . . . ."
Mike didn't listen to what Dan had to say. He just dove in. Dan and T.J. shrugged, and got their supplies. Davy was trying to fight off his fans.
"Hold me, Davy!" Alexis shouted, jumping on the cute British Monkee.
"Young lady, get off of him," T.J. said. "You're going to cause him to . . . . whoa!"
At that moment, T.J. ended up taking a plunge into the swimming pool.
"You're always falling into a pool," Dan commented. "I don't get that."
Mike finally emerged, with Jerry. The Texan practically gasped for breath.
"Hey, someone give me a hand," he said. "He may be skinny, but he sure ain't light!"
"Yeah, sure," Dan said, as he and T.J. gave Mike a hand in pulling the Geator out of the pool.
"What were you girls thinking?" Davy asked.
"Well, he made a fool out of you," Jenny replied. "He made you look like a total idiot. We were just teaching him a lesson."
"It was just a game," Emily said.
"Some game!" Mike yelled. "Do you girls realize you could've killed him?!"
The girls didn't say anything, which told Mike that they knew they could have killed Jerry with a stunt like this. Mike then walked over to Jerry, snapped his fingers to undo the locks on the chains and then ripped the duct tape off his mouth.
"Someone's gonna have to do CPR," Dan said.
"Don't look at me, mate," Davy said. "Even though we called a truce, there is no way I'm gonna put my lips on 'is mouth!"
"It's not my job," Hank said. "I'm not a paramedic."
"Well, it's my job," Dan said. "But I think this is the first time I'm a little hesitant to do CPR."
"Oh for heaven's sake, I'll do it!" Mike shouted. He kneeled down and tilted Jerry's head up. Then he pinched the Geator's nostrils, and breathed into his mouth. Mike did that for what seemed like hours.
"Come on, Jer," he kept saying after two or three breaths. "Come on, man! Breathe!!!"
Mike gave it another shot. Finally, Jerry coughed, and pool water came flying out of his mouth, which hit both Mike and Dan (who was standing over Mike) in the face.
"Eecchh," Mike said.
"What happened?" Jerry asked, feeling pretty groggy.
"Take it easy, Jer, and don't move," Mike said.
"I don't think I can," Jerry said. "Man, I feel like I was hit with a sack of lead!"
"Okay, hold on a minute," Dan said. "I've got to get your vitals."
Jerry just nodded. While Dan did all that good stuff, Mike walked over to the girls and glared sharply at them.
"If you weren't girls, I'd smash your heads in!" he yelled.
"'Ey, Mike, whoa, take it easy," Davy said.
Suddenly the girls' parents showed up.
"Our parents?!" the girls shouted.
"Who called them?!" Jenny yelled.
"My daddy will kill me!" Emily shouted.
"Anybody but our parents!" Alexis yelled.
Needless to say nobody's parents were happy with their daughters. Brenda's mother was in hysterics, blaming herself!
"Where did I go wrong?!" she wailed. "How could I have raised a juvenile delinquent?! Ohhhh!"
"I'm sorry, Mommy!" Brenda wailed.
"You're gonna be sorry!" her father shouted. "You're in big trouble, young lady!"
"I can't let you out of my sight for a minute!" Alexis's mother shouted. "Honestly! I can't believe you almost killed that poor man!"
"But he made a fool out of Davyyyy!" Alexis wailed.
"We'll talk later!"
"I'm going to get rid of every single piece of Monkees merchandise you own!" Emily's father shouted. "I don't even want to hear the name Davy Jones for a long time!"
"But Daddy!" Emily wailed.
"You're grounded for a year, young lady!" Charlotte's mother shouted. "I raised you better than this!"
"I'm sorry, Mom!" Charlotte cried.
"Jennifer Ann Arnold, I'm surprised at you!" Jenny's mother yelled. "Honestly! Just because someone made a fool out of your hero doesn't give you the right to try to kill him!"
"But we were only playing with him!" Jenny yelled. "It was just a game!"
"Some game! That was a dangerous game, Jennifer! You're grounded until further notice! And I'm taking away all your Davy Jones things."
"No! Anything but that! Oh Mo-o-o-o-o-m!"
There was so much yelling going on, the neighbors came to their doors and asked what the heck was going on!
"Just a slight mishap," Hank said. "Nothing to worry about."
"Am I in trouble too, Daddy?" Linda asked.
"Yes," Hank said. "You're not off the hook, young lady. You did have a hand in this, you know."
"Your punishment is . . . . ."
Linda waited for the words "grounded for life" to come in soon.
". . . . . to come here, you little twit, and give me a big kiss right now!"
"Nice punishment, Cap," Mike said.
"Why so lenient?" Dan asked.
"Because she at least had the decency to tell me what was going on," Hank said. "Instead of letting her friends handle everything."
The others nodded. A couple of days went by. Jerry was talking to Mike and Davy about the entire night.
"Those girls had to be totally crazy," Mike said.
"Me fans tend to get like that, Jer," Davy replied.
"I've noticed," Jerry said. "I've gotten letters from all those girls, apologizing and telling me they've quit the Davy Jones Fan Club."
"So all's well that ends well, eh, mates?" Davy asked.
"Seems like it," Mike said. "At least until another obsessed fan comes along."